Dear Phoebe

Dear Phoebe,

Right now you are tossing and turning and you have the hiccups. Right now you are safe, cozy, warm, and fed. Right now I have no doubt about where you are, what you're doing, or who you are with. No one can hurt you and all you're Daddy and I have done to you thus far... is love you. Oh my goodness baby girl, how we love you. All those comforts are coming to end, because not far from now you will move from your home in the womb, into our arms... and then it gets a little scary.
When you arrive, our whole world is going to change. You my sweet little girl are going to rock every single thing we've ever known. You are going to be the most beautiful thing we've ever seen. You are going to make us feel a love we have never known. You are going to give our salvation a whole new meaning. You are going to change everything about us. You my love, will make us new.
We cannot wait for you, but I'm going to be honest, I'm scared as hell. I'm young. I've never had so much responsibility on my shoulders. I've never been a mother. I've never lived to love and care for another person. I'm desperately in love with your Daddy, but this will be a completely different love, and he is quite independent, and only needs me the two times a year when he has the flu, and then he is of no use to anyone.
You will need me always, and I will be there. Until you ask me not to be, and then I will back off, but I will be waiting near by just in case.
No matter how hard it gets, no matter what you do, no matter where you go, or who you go with, I will always love you, and I will always be there.

We cannot wait to meet you little girl. I cannot wait to meet you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Always. Always. Always. To the Moon and back and back again.

This is our year.

I am convinced that 2010 is THE year for this Sibray family.
God has been showing off lately, he delivered us, blessed us beyond measure, was so full of grace, and loved on us until we understood the depth of it.
I am so thankful for his patience.

Okay, since God doesn't blog... I will share with you what he's been up to in our Life.

We are pregnant!
Yep... baby Sibray number one is on his or her way.
We are ecstatic, no word truly explains how happy we are about this.
It was a hoped for surprise... (more on that later, definitely deserves it's own post).

We are nearly out of debt!
Cars, my student loans, all credit card debt, and the house we live in.
We can't take much credit for it (really no credit at all), we were blessed as I said beyond belief, by God through people and through teaching us some valuable lessons.
All we have left are Ryan's student loans, a washer and dryer, and a small personal loan.
God has placed some amazing people in our lives to help us figure it all out, and I know that soon we won't be slave to money or debt... and that our babies will grow up knowing how to handle their money.
Easy? No. Worth it? Totally.

Ryan and I have been in counseling for about 3 months now.
It has transformed our marriage.
We had a very difficult beginning to our marriage. We've always loved each other, but we had no idea how to be in a Godly marriage, and what is love without God? We talked about counseling for a long time, and knew we could not afford it, and maybe we just weren't ready.
God provided.
We found a Christian counseling center that helps ministers and their families for free.
We have literally never been happier.
We hadn't really told anyone about our counseling experience, but we have truly felt God telling us to be open about it. Since we got married, we have heard how perfect our marriage looked, but it wasn't... it was painful, messy, and lonely.
God is taking our once broken marriage and making it whole.
He is showing us his plan for marriage, his formula for love, and we are getting it.
(This also deserves it's own post... and it will most certainly get it.)

God has a huge plan, and we have such tunnel vision, but hindsight is such an awesome gift to see what God was doing.

I can't wait to start blogging again, so much is going on in our life, and I am loving it.

Talk to you again soon.

"And the Lord answered me: 'Write the vision... For still the vision awaits it's appointed time; it hastens to the end- it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay." Habakkuk 2:2-3